beautifully described. Trying hard to stifle my laughter here at work.
The 'Things That Piss Me Off' Thread
- Thread starter Jumbo_
- Start date
- Staff
- #5,972
I'm now known as "Biscuit".
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Oh crumbs.
- Staff
- #5,974
Don't take the biscuit.
- Staff
- #5,975
People who slash tyres. Especially your tyres. By which I mean, my tyres.
I'm starting to believe in voodoo because these past two months have been the worst months of my life.
I'm starting to believe in voodoo because these past two months have been the worst months of my life.
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Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
Fucking hell they went to town on that the nobs.
Did any one else's get done as well? We've had someone go down a whole street scratching all the cars recently, there's a fucking man hunt going off and this ain't a good area to be causing shit
Did any one else's get done as well? We've had someone go down a whole street scratching all the cars recently, there's a fucking man hunt going off and this ain't a good area to be causing shit
- Staff
- #5,977
Nobody else appears to have been targeted. I had a brand new tyre go flat a few months ago and I'm wondering if they're connected or if it's just coincidence.
Pain in the dick. I don't have any enemies I'm aware of, although... Maybe...
...DJ?!
Pain in the dick. I don't have any enemies I'm aware of, although... Maybe...
...DJ?!
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Remember that weekend you didn't play GTA with me?
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
It wasn't long ago you said Tranmere patch was cancelled, someone wasn't happy about it....
- Staff
- #5,980
Fray Bentos
Banned
- 24 November 2014
What car do you drive Chris Davies?
Bunch of savages in your town!! I went to Mersyside a few times on a course before and have to say the locals were, erm, not very friendly.
Bunch of savages in your town!! I went to Mersyside a few times on a course before and have to say the locals were, erm, not very friendly.
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I feel for you.
I went on a rampage when I found a nail into one of mine a couple of years ago (and I'm pretty sure that some f*ck!n' cu*t did it on purpose as several neighbours of mine already had their cars scratched/tyres nailed before), I don't imagine how I would've reacted if I had found that mess.
On a different note, also my GF got a window smashed overnight for no apparent reason in january.
Someone should get seriously beaten.
to this group I would also add kids/humanoids which collect car badges as engine capacity or GTi, R32 marks... where they assemble it later ? on foreheads or on own shopping-cars... every of my cars was a victim of this kind of vandalism...
pesmonkey2013
** CAUTION - FLAMMABLE **
Oh man this thread is dangerous ... so many gripes:
1. People who verbalise database and character/text speak now , saying "hashtag" and "L.O.L" and "R.O.F.L" .. "OMG" <<< oh that one makes my blood boil
2. Clicky abbreviation speak ... IE: "Awks" and "gel" and when anything cloned from Essex (uk).
7. Anyone speaking with high inflection as if eveything is a question.
4. Anyone who says "like" "kind of like" & "sooooooo" in everything that spills out of their face. Well to sum it up anyone who now has this American/British mix speak/voice ever since Friends came over to the UK in 1995 onwards.
9. If your waiting for public transport when travelling and the coach/bus whatever is about to pull out and someone running towards it waving and driver notices so they stop. Then the person running .... SLOWS TO A WALK ... and slowly gets to the vehicle to get on.
10. People in a group (friends or families) taking up the entire walkway/pavement and when you are walking towards them (just you as 1 single person) NO ONE gives you room .. does anyone in the world understand the concept of "single file" anymore?
2. Anyone in a car or crap tinny mobile phone playing god awful chart music very loud and the worlds worst Hiphop (50 cent etc) & trance and think they are great in the process.
28. Anyone who still remotely opens car doors with key fob and then looks around to see who's watching as if its still cool.
17. Any youtube videos what have a crappy intro sequence more then 4 seconds long at the start ... STICK IT AT THE BLOODY END INSTEAD I JUST HAVE TO SKIP EVERYTIME!!!!!
04. Anyone who loiters and hangs around close to shop doorways for no logical reason other than just being a moron in the publics way.
13. Other humans?
72. White British youths who talk act and dress ... how can I put this, "not like themselves" .. IE: "ennit bruv tingz iz bear good, nah mean? Get meh?" spilling from their faces. Sheep/Robots every last one of them.
18. White van men
19. Young mothers with prams (and worse double buggies) who walk fast and as if they are highest priority as they have a child/pram and use it like a battering ram in busy areas ... effectively the equivalent of a white van driver ... but on foot.
22. Anyone who when talking to you in a conversation doesnt really keep much eye contact, if at all.
16. Anyone while talking to you and then listing starts looking you up and down, esp looking at your clothes for some odd reason (and no thats not because Im dressed odd).
17. Anyone who thinks the internet = youtube/twitter/facebook/snapchat and some other social media sites for images .. and thats it.
18. How the Oxford dictionary is cowering to include almost slang into its books now rather than proper descriptive language ...
For example "Dench" ... I mean, come on
19. The over use of "tin foil hat"
20. The over use of "legend" for anything these days.
31. Anyone who says "alright bloke" or "alright fella?"
22. Dog owners who are so lost in their own pet world who think they have some sort of sound cancelling forcefield around their garden/house at anything past 11:00 PM at night for periods longer then 5 mins onwards.
23. Pet owners who look at you funny when thier pet barks at you (you have no clue why while walking past) as if the dog is a master detector of a dodgy individual or you must have upset the animal, when in fact they haven't trained the animal properly and the owner is ... umm, thick.
25. People who have let their children do what they like as they are the center of the universe and can do no wrong, and also do anything to shut them up for a quite life, only to unleash a young human on the world with all the traits of a class A narcissistic personality to the point of worrying (and strangely thats quite a few these days).
The interesting point about number 25 is, the parents have met these types of people in the work place or in life growing up and probably avoided them, hmmm, now you wonder why the neighbours are making excuses not to let little timmy come to johns birthday party anymore.
26. People who cannot make lists and number them correctly.
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jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
UJSupanova
@Bobothy
pesmonkey2013
** CAUTION - FLAMMABLE **
Hmmm ... I have a few more:
- Staff
- #5,988
I really like this guy. He speaks my language.
pesmonkey2013
** CAUTION - FLAMMABLE **
----
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- Staff
- #5,990
- 16 July 2004
- LUFC O.K.
There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don’t.
pesmonkey2013
** CAUTION - FLAMMABLE **
There is a joke within the code, that joke being how easy it is to "convert" online (binary to text)
it was was a reply to "speaks my language".- Staff
- #5,992
- 16 July 2004
- LUFC O.K.
There is a joke within the code, that joke being how easy it is to "convert" online (binary to text)
01010111 01100101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 00101110
pesmonkey2013
** CAUTION - FLAMMABLE **
Ahh, more gripes:
- Cutting your lawn, you have a small patch to cut (size of a car span) and your mower packs up.
- People who talk on the phone while eating/chamming food in their mouths and have the phone too close to mouth so it distorts
- When your late for work due to transport issues and rushing like an idiot, you walk in, and your boss says "your late" (to which you visualise punching them directly in the face at high velocity).
- You book a taxi for a certain time and it arrives stupidly early and you feel obliged to leave too soon as they might pull away (and they have before, dead on the time you booked it for)
- A cab driver that talks far too much and asks way to much personal detail in the conversation and don't realise how annoying its becoming
- A cab driver that never speaks and never greats you or says hello
- A cab driver that has no change (FFS) when you give him a note, and huffs at you like you should be a mind reader
- Some transport that needs "exact change" but then has problems accepting certain coins
- Someone who pulls up randomly to ask you for direction of a street and areas you have never heard of, and because you don't know then get pissed off, im not your sat nav mate, F**** off.
- Someone who pulls up for direction and hurry's you because they have stopped right in a busy area of traffic
- People on mountian bikes who do no-handed constantly, as they look so smug and all you want to do is shove a stick in the spokes and watch them fly
- People who constantly spit on the ground
- People in public who spit but also make that throat grunt noise to spit "green" in the process
- Anyone walking along listening to hiphop and actually are "MC'ing" to themselves in full flow (mainly chavs) and think they are in a live version of 8 mile.
- Being a passenger in a car, and the driver makes a bad move, so the entire group in the opposing car all look at you like you have done it, or plaid some sort of accomplice to the driving crime
- Waiting in a queue and the person behind you keeps huffing and puffing to show how annoyed they are which it itself becomes more annoying than waiting
- Someone behind you in a qeue who is impatient and its now your turn to go to till/desk and as your about to walk forward they nudge you from behind as a reminder as If you haven't noticed (happened to me and I could have broken their hand)
- Your at an ATM machine and the person behind is far too close and too stupid to notice
- Your waiting at the ATM machine and the person using it has got money and taken reciept/card, they then stand their and read the receipt, and worse .. suddenly put the card back in and start doing more ...
- ATM's that constantly flag up you can only take 20 notes
- ATM's that have small screens and are placed directly facing the sun
- ATM's that have massive screens/buttons so you might as well put your pin number on a f***ing banner and advertise it to everyone along with your bank balance
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- Staff
- #5,994
Joyriders, egg-throwers and Renault.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
HAHAHAHAHA.
pesmonkey2013
** CAUTION - FLAMMABLE **
One more for luck ...
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
spektarm
Premier League
- 6 October 2006
- Manchester United
People who can't speak their own language properly / people who are English and I know their language better than them (English is a foreign language to me).
I assume you're English, Pesmonkey?
- Inflection and inflectional affixes are parts of language which indicate grammatical phenomena such as tense, gender, possession, etc. "High inflection" is a thing present in Latin or German for example. What you were referring to is called "intonation", more specifically "rising intonation".
- "your" instead of "you're" and vice versa
- "their" instead of "there" and vice versa
- "it's" instead of "its" and vice versa
- using 's for verbs in 3rd person singular or nouns in plural, e.g. hurry's or video's
- "wierd" instead of weird / "recieve" instead of receive
- "greats" instead of greets / "speach" instead of speech
- "who's" instead of "whose" and vice versa
AND WORST OF ALL:
"COULD OF DONE, SHOULD OF MADE, WOULD OF SEEN" instead of could have, should have, would have.
I assume you're English, Pesmonkey?
- Inflection and inflectional affixes are parts of language which indicate grammatical phenomena such as tense, gender, possession, etc. "High inflection" is a thing present in Latin or German for example. What you were referring to is called "intonation", more specifically "rising intonation".
- "your" instead of "you're" and vice versa
- "their" instead of "there" and vice versa
- "it's" instead of "its" and vice versa
- using 's for verbs in 3rd person singular or nouns in plural, e.g. hurry's or video's
- "wierd" instead of weird / "recieve" instead of receive
- "greats" instead of greets / "speach" instead of speech
- "who's" instead of "whose" and vice versa
AND WORST OF ALL:
"COULD OF DONE, SHOULD OF MADE, WOULD OF SEEN" instead of could have, should have, would have.
- Staff
- #6,000
- 16 July 2004
- LUFC O.K.
Those who correct other peoples grammar in an embarrassing attempt to claim some kind of intellectual superiority. 
