The Random Crap Thread

Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Nice picture above.

I had a fucking scary dream last night after i watched Event Horizon. anyone else seen this film? very sketchy. Anyway everyone in my college had no eyes like on the film.

Actually thinking about it ive had nightmares about scary films for years, granted im only 18 but it seems a long time. i love watching scary movies but they always effect me for a night and there is a reason behind this. (if you think im starting to sound like a twat stop reading now)

When i was young well younger about 8 my mum always let me watch whatever film i wanted to watch. so i would go to school boasting about it but it has left a scar on my mental well being. i am still scared of the dark so i have to sleep with the light on, i have lots of the same nightmare about the film alien but the film that effected me the most is a film based on the book turning of the shrew or was it screw. i still cant look out of windows at night and have my room with all blinds down.

i hope you have all learned from my experience and if or when u have kids say no when they ask for Terminator 7, save them from my fate.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Liberate tute me ex inferis!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Does everyone without a widescreen television hate it as much as I do when someone at the Television Centre "forgets to push the button" and you have to watch a completely squashed version of Match of the Day with giant black borders on the top and bottom (like last night)? Usually someone wakes up halfway through and presses it... Pffft.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Does anyone hate it when you sign onto unemployment benefit and they treat you like a 2nd class person? it pisses me off
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Welcome to...

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Fat comic spotted

That was...

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Goodnight.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

If I eat nothing but Special K and apples for a month, A) will I lose weight, and B) will I die?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

You will get a lot of A, and a very painlful and long B. You should eat bananana's.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

What's happened evo-web? You've turned into a whore. I just saw that fucking Crazy Frog banner. This was my place of refuge away from the fucking frog. It makes me want to murder people.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Exactly what this thread was made for (the last three posts). Congratulations.

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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Hello everyone. I'd like to introduce you all to the real me. My real name is Fuzzums.
This is me:
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I'm a bit of a geek and like to spend most of my time surfing the net:
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But every Saturday, I'm known as Fizzy G and like to link up with me homies and catch some chicks at the club:
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But havent had any luck lately. Is there something wrong with my image?
Maybe its the piercing in my ear.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Very good appearance.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Shandy, Milkshake, Irn-Bru, Vodka Blue.

And on another note:

Wanker.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

God has smiled upon you this daaaaaaay,
The fate of a nation in your haaaaaaands,
and BLESSED be the children, who fight with all their bravery,
Til only the righteous staaaand.

YOU SEE THE DISTANT FLAMES! THEY BELLOW IN THE NIGHT!
YOU FIGHT IN ALL OUR NAMES! FOR WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT!
BUT WHEN YOU ALL GET SHOT, AND YOU CANNOT CARRY ON,
THOUGH YOU DIE LA RESISTANCE LIVES ON!

YOU GET STABBED IN THE HEAD, WITH A DAGGER OR SWORD!
YOU MAY BE BURNED TO DEATH, OR SKINNED ALIVE OR WORSE!
BUT WHEN THEY TORTUE YOU, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE TO RUN FOR,
THOUGH YOU DIE, LA RESISTANCE LIVES ONNNNNN!!!

Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
Because the country's gone awry, tomorrow night those freaks will fry!

Tomorrow Night! Our lives will change!
Tomorrow Night! We'll be entertained!
An execution! What a sight!
Tomorrow Night!

Up there there is so much room, where babies burp and flowers bloom.
Tomorrow night up there is doomed, and so I will be going soon!

Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker!
You're a boner biting bastard Uncle Fucker!
Looks like we may be out of luck!
Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked!

Why did our Mothers start this war?
What the fuck are they fighting for?
When did this song become a Maraaaathoooooon?

I WANT TO LIVE..UP...THERRRRE!
When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!

They may cut your dick in half, and serve it to a pig,
and though it hurts you'll laugh!
You'll dance a dickless jig!
And that's the way it goes, in war you're shat upon!
Though you die La Resistance lives OOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN!!!
Click to expand...

I could've easily copied and pasted that, but decided I had to type it all to do it justice.
Quite simply the finest song from a film, ever.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

If you burn your finger nails with a gas lighter, they taste like crispy bacon. You should try it sometime.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

The BROCKSTER lives on!!!! Thought I should tell you guys.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

LOL! That's fuckin ace mate! Many of those are top quality
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

What does mushi mushi mean in German? Moyles was going on about it on Radio 1 this morning and apparently it means something dodgy in German
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Mushi mushi means something like hello in Japanese, and Muschi means pussy in German, with the same ambiguity that pussy has in English. Funnily enough the prime minister of Bavaria Edmund Stoiber calls his wife Muschi too.
 
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