1. We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. Learn More.

The Random Crap Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Chris Davies, 3 March 2005.

  1. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    According to my good friend Mr. Foxtrot, Random Crap may return to this lovely forum...

    First of all, may I just say how honoured I am. Secondly... This is a great day for randomness. And crap. And lots of things I should probably do in a blog but I'd rather do in-front of a Winning-Eleven-loving audience, for they are the most intelligent species on earth. Apart from the guys who came up with Lime Coke. And Chocolate Orange Digestives.

    Well, today, I've had an operation arranged, and a (first) driving test failed. Quite a stressful day, but here's what I want to know...

    Just how dangerous is a general anaesthetic? Do you know anybody who's died from it? Perhaps you yourself have? It's not an essential operation, but at the same time it would probably be a good thing. I'd rather not die though; I wouldn't get to appreciate it.

    I look forward to seeing Foxtrot's "...When You Least Expect It" pictures returning, as well as banter from (Starsky and) Hutch etc. (I had my test put forward Hutch - when's yours again?) - but everybody join in now. Don't be shy.

    Big thanks to Chris Wright! :D

    [​IMG]
    Visual representation of my appreciation for Mr. Wright's decision
     
    Last edited: 20 September 2007
  2. Starsky

    Starsky Guest

    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    16th March. Unlucky, what did you fail on? Being shit in general or a major error or something?
     
  3. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    One major error... Going too slow... I saw a 60 sign and (being so panicked at forgetting to look at all the mirrors every 1.53 seconds) misread it as 30... *Sigh* Retest booked for the 18th.

    Edit: Is (Starksy and) Hutch now banned? He's seeing the following error page - "Starsky, you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:" etc...

    [​IMG]
    Visual representation of (Starsky and) Hutch's anger and confusion
     
    Last edited: 3 March 2005
  4. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    I went under general anesthetic when I got my tonsils removed last year. I don't remember a thing. You'll be lying on the trolley bed thing, the doctor will come, stick a huge needle in your hand, put this white stuff in it and you'll be out cold before you can count to 3.

    You won't remember waking up either. Apparently I was coughing and spluttering but I don't remember.
     
  5. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    The least expected picture, when you least expect it.™ - Volume Three, Picture One

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    My girlfriend woke up next to me the other day and said "that's a bit much for a taxi"... I said "beg your pardon?" - she said "£50,000? That's a bit much"... I said "what the frigging hell are you talking about?" - she said "you just asked me what you should buy, a bus, a taxi or an ambulance!!"...

    She still believes that she didn't dream it all and that I wasn't actually next to her looking at Teletext. What's up with that?
     
  7. Starsky

    Starsky Guest

    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    I'm currently experiencing technical difficulties.

    CW says:
    let me delete starsky
    John says:
    ok
     
  8. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Lets see if we can sort out the problem that Hutch is having
     
  9. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Welcome, hutch.
    You last visited: 30 November 04 at 15:56
     
  10. danwin

    danwin Oak Hard

    1 December 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Welcome back Hutch, I never did like Starsky.
     
  11. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Me and Chris Wright are back on the same page, together, we will take over the world, UNSTOPPABLE.
     
  12. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Oh, I would like to share my Nan's 92nd with everyone.
    We all went round to her house for something to eat and shit.
    The best bit was when my Mum was in the kitchen doing the buffet/Hot Pot for all the old dears in the living room. She said,
    "Does Auntie Rose want anything?"
    So my Dad walks in and goes,
    "The last rites by the looks of it."
    I thought this was brilliant.
     
  13. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    What is the point in having "No Guide Dogs Allowed" signs?

    I have just stolen this post from somewhere else, I am a fucking disgrace.
     
  14. Revan

    Revan out the window

    8 August 2003
    Madeira, Portugal.
    FC Porto
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Dumb (supposedly real) laws

    Sweden Law: It is illegal to repaint a house without a painting license and the government's permission.

    Switzerland Law: It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 P.M. if you live in an apartment.

    California, Chico: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

    Arizona, Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

    Texas, Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.

    Washington: When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.

    NY: It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."

    OMG I'm gonna piss my pants AHA
     
    Last edited: 4 March 2005
  15. footieBalla

    footieBalla Guest

    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    i've had local anesthetics for an operation on my neck before. this means that i am fully awake while doctors tried to take something out of my neck but i couldn't feel pain. only thing i felt was something prodding and pulling inside my neck, which is pretty scary, but i got over it. (it was a serious operation, doctors even threw around the term "cancerous", that didnt please me)

    while i'm at it, welcome back hutch, bloody :D

    -fb
     
  16. Gazz22

    Gazz22 League 1

    6 August 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Cool. Off topic is back.

    :)
     
  17. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    They offered a local anaesthetic option to me... No way in the fucking WORLD. I am the most squeamish person in the world. The last (and first) time I was knocked out was when I had a tooth out at the dentists (I was under 10). I woke up before it was finished - I saw a pair of bloody hands and I just SCREAMED. Screamed screamed screamed. After that I wouldn't sit still and so I was sent home with a half-fixed gob.

    When they knock me out this time they sure as hell better knock me out.
     
  18. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    I want Walkers to make these crisps...

    [​IMG]

    I emailed them requesting it, but they never got back to me.
     
  19. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Cracking graphics skills Hutch - I think that anyone under the age of 16 wouldn't remember Teddy now though, and if they don't know him then they won't shift enough crisps.
     
  20. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Salt and Lineker worked. All he needs is a goofy ad campaign where he dresses up as a woman as sings 'I'm your Teddy bear' or something.
     
  21. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    So Rahman has left the news desk behind and is now a roaming reporter for light hearted segments on Granada Reports.
    Is this good or bad for So's career?
    YOU DECIDE!
     
  22. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    "First I was afraid, I was petrified.
    Failed a thousand times already, this was suicide.."

    10 points to the first person to tell me what advert that was from.
     
  23. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Why has nobody ever arrested Captain Birdseye, the guy has been hanging around with kids for years
     
  24. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    That's a bit poor on your part Chris, grassing on your own Dad.
     
  25. gomito#10

    gomito#10 World Cup Winner

    9 May 2003
    DC, USA
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    the beer thing, its like that in a lot of places here, its all about the church, they dont want people getting drunk on the sabbath... you have to understand drinking here is way different then in europe, for instance most of you probably were allowed to drink wine as youngings, over here you get thrown in jail for that
     
  26. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    European beer has alcohol in it as well.

    None of your "Busch Light" pishwater.
     
  27. gomito#10

    gomito#10 World Cup Winner

    9 May 2003
    DC, USA
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    please son, were making beers better then the belgiums are... cmon over sometime across the pond, and i will pour you some nice brews, with plenty of alcohol... you little putz :)
     
  28. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Last time I was over was in 2002. I was 17. We went to WAL-MART and my Dad decided to buy a box of 24 Busch Light cans. He hated it, I hated it. 9 thumbs down! Later that day we went and voiced our extreme disapproval by visiting Busch Gardens and riding the rollercoasters.

    And it's 330ml cans!!! 330ml cans are for soft drinks only! Sort it out America. Try a 500ml 7.5% Super T.

    :mryellow:
     
  29. hutch

    hutch Beaten by Chris Wright

    5 January 2003
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Just remembered, I had a dream with grim off here in it last night. He's called Jason Stout in real life btw. Anyway, in the dream I was stood outside college (which was also McDonalds for some reason) with somebody (I think it was a mate, can't remember). Anyway, a dead sporty car pulls up and the person with me goes,
    "Oh, here comes Jason!"
    I noticed that the license plate said "STOUT 1" and fucking shit myself. He got out with a smug look on his face and was basically all like,
    "Well John, we meet at last"
    I think he had sunglasses on too, he was actually really good looking despite his face looking like the victim of a shovel in real life. He had a stylish little beard and was generally just a flash bastard.
    He then turned into someone I knew from High School.
    Good dream.
     
  30. Coopz

    Coopz Retired Footballer

    27 April 2002
    Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

    Knew from High School eh?

    :)
     

Share This Page

Welcome to Evo-Web! As a guest you can browse some of our forums. If you want to join in the discussions and get full access please sign up here.