Will you be my Valentine?

Do all families have a dark around yours?
Fucking hell, that's one of several spelling mistakes I've made lately, and that's not even CLOSE to "dog". I've had it, I'm on my way out, next I'll be bringing my goalie out all the time on FIFA and reading Fishing Weekly. Shocking.

That story made me piss myself :lol:

Oh dear........what a bitch!!!

Is very funny though........I would have cried if it were me :cry: .......thats harsh!!!
At the time I was just confused because she put "From ?". My thought pattern was, "Sarah doesn't like me?" (She was the first girl who came into my head, because she was fat herself - I'm saying that like you know who Sarah is and that she was a chubbo)

I had no idea it was from "old cuntbag", as she was affectionately known in the family, until I showed it to the parents, at which point they took it off me and burnt it in-front of my eyes. That's what upset me the most, because I was still in denial and thinking it was a real Valentine's card that had been tampered with by someone. Kids eh, gullable little bastards.

She was a weird one though, she had two grandkids and we all played together happily, then all of a sudden (literally overnight) she went shitting mental. She was ringing the police telling them our dog had bitten her (which it hadn't), then telling them on their arrival "the mark's gone now because it's been a few weeks" (?!). She started loads of chain letters around our way saying really sick things, there were even death threats in there towards the end. She was genuinely twisted.

I wonder if I got my cock out in-front of her granddaughters or something, and the memory's been repressed by everybody.
 
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It's great here because you don't buy the woman anything. Women buy chocolate for people they love or respect. As a teacher, I have a lot of female students and they always buy lots of chocolate for me. The only problem is if you mis-interprete the intention behind it. I am supposed to return their affections on March 14th, if I am interested.
 
HAHAHA, no they're not, we've been through this before. All the pervs asked marukomu how old they are as soon as he first said "I'm a teacher", about two years ago.
 
Then they would be in a different class you div, they're always the same age.

I forget what the age is but I'm sure it's legal. Saying that, I don't know what the legal age is in Japan, could be 80 for all I know.
 
It's not all bad, you get a family-size pack of biscuits every time you do a job for them.

Now I make a point of saying, "we only accept Maryland cookies or Cadburys digestives; we've been having problems processing Blue Ribands."
 
Random JB Fact #567203: We once had a fucking cunt (sorry but it's justified) of an old bitch living next door to us, she was about 80, who had a problem with the family dog barking at 9am in the morning when it had a crap in the garden. One year she sent me a Valentine's card, which obviously I was excited to receive being about 12, with a pig on the front. Inside it read "THIS IS YOU, YOU FAT LITTLE FUCKER".

I can laugh about it now, because she's dead. Dead in the cold ground.

And I'm the one who put her there. Knife in the back, bitch on the floor, problem solved, the twisted cunt.

No, only joking, but the rest is true.

:lmao::lol::lmao::lol:That's one of the greatest stories I've ever heard.
 
:lol: :lmao: JB's a mentalist!

My missus is back at uni in Eastbourne now, so I'll just get some flowers sent to her house down there :).
 
HOLY FUCK! I've just paid £50 (FIFTY) quid to have a dozen roses delivered tomorrow to the missus! :shock:

Is that normal pricing?!
 
HOLY FUCK! I've just paid £50 (FIFTY) quid to have a dozen roses delivered tomorrow to the missus! :shock:

Is that normal pricing?!

Join the club mate its scandalous.

On a more positive note I spotted a La senza bag in the wardrobe this morning :8)::mrgreen::mrgreen:
 
50 pound for something that dies in a couple of days?!?!

You could have gotten her something nice and some decent flowers for that price (perfume, linger....lingerey.....underwear!, beautymassage,etc).
 
So there 12 now?

"They're" Jay. Not "there". Also, Tesco are doing big bunches of red roses for £4.99 at the moment. Bargain. I have already spent a fortune on my woman, and I bought her Roses last week so I'm not going to again.
 
We're not going out now however the missus is making me a homemade pasta bake with Italian style salad and garlic doughballs. Strawberries and cream for dessert too! :)
 
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