EatonTJ
Why Today Doesn't Suck.
- 11 April 2002
I just moved to Dallas, Texas (USA) a few weeks ago to an area near Whiterock Lake. In this area there are a lot of parks, and I have been taking my two year old labrador retriever to all the different parks trying to find the best place to go. Last week I took the dog to Norbuck park where there are a lot of cross-country competitions, and I could take the dog through the woods on a run and she wouldn't have to be on her leash.
Unfortunately, it was ill fated from the start. After only a few feet into the woods, my dog found a used condom which of course she immediately scooped into her mouth and started running around with, forcing me to give chase. Being the human, I won the battle succeeding with around the 100th "DROP IT!"... and then we continued our run as I thought how gross it was to find a used condom in the woods.
About a minute later my dog found something more gross when she suddenly bolted around the corner down one of the trails. I chased again, yelling upon deaf ears for her to stop, only to find she had indeed stopped to forcfully greet some homeless looking fellow dropping a deuce in the middle of the woods. This created the very odd situation of ME apologizing for my dog's "misbehavior" to some dude who has just turned the outside world into his personal toilet.
Now officially grossed out, I proclaimed the dog-walk FINISHED, and we headed back the way we came. I mistakenly thought my digusting journey was nearly over when we passed the used condom at the edge of the woods a second time, but then once again my dog bolted down the wrong path. This time, no chase was needed as I immediately saw what she was running toward. Off to my right were two more half-naked men that ("like a white girl in a horror movie") she just had to investigate.
But neither of these men had turned the woods into toilet... no these men had turned the woods into their own little love nest. With neither man apparently being able to quit each other, half-naked-man-#1 was going absolutely bananas all over half-naked-man-#2's derriere.
Now up to that point in my life, I had never thought I had had a sheltered upbringing... but seeing two dudes going at it in the middle of the woods makes you question just what you are prepared to see. You see, when one typically comes across unwanted gay pornography typically one can quickly change the channel, or quickly close the internet browser window... But here, there was no escape, no way to divert my eyes. There wasn't even a cheesy porno soundtrack to mask the manly moans or the sounds of the male/male humpery (the thrusting, flesh on flesh bumbing, etc.)... nope, it was just me staring at two dudes going at it in the woods.
Needless to say, I ran away... and for those who may be worried about my dog, she also ran away. But the point is, gay sex is pretty gross.
p.s. I was also stung by a wasp after seeing the homeless shitting man. Worst. Walk. Ever.
Here is a picture of my dog as a puppy:
Unfortunately, it was ill fated from the start. After only a few feet into the woods, my dog found a used condom which of course she immediately scooped into her mouth and started running around with, forcing me to give chase. Being the human, I won the battle succeeding with around the 100th "DROP IT!"... and then we continued our run as I thought how gross it was to find a used condom in the woods.
About a minute later my dog found something more gross when she suddenly bolted around the corner down one of the trails. I chased again, yelling upon deaf ears for her to stop, only to find she had indeed stopped to forcfully greet some homeless looking fellow dropping a deuce in the middle of the woods. This created the very odd situation of ME apologizing for my dog's "misbehavior" to some dude who has just turned the outside world into his personal toilet.
Now officially grossed out, I proclaimed the dog-walk FINISHED, and we headed back the way we came. I mistakenly thought my digusting journey was nearly over when we passed the used condom at the edge of the woods a second time, but then once again my dog bolted down the wrong path. This time, no chase was needed as I immediately saw what she was running toward. Off to my right were two more half-naked men that ("like a white girl in a horror movie") she just had to investigate.
But neither of these men had turned the woods into toilet... no these men had turned the woods into their own little love nest. With neither man apparently being able to quit each other, half-naked-man-#1 was going absolutely bananas all over half-naked-man-#2's derriere.
Now up to that point in my life, I had never thought I had had a sheltered upbringing... but seeing two dudes going at it in the middle of the woods makes you question just what you are prepared to see. You see, when one typically comes across unwanted gay pornography typically one can quickly change the channel, or quickly close the internet browser window... But here, there was no escape, no way to divert my eyes. There wasn't even a cheesy porno soundtrack to mask the manly moans or the sounds of the male/male humpery (the thrusting, flesh on flesh bumbing, etc.)... nope, it was just me staring at two dudes going at it in the woods.
Needless to say, I ran away... and for those who may be worried about my dog, she also ran away. But the point is, gay sex is pretty gross.
p.s. I was also stung by a wasp after seeing the homeless shitting man. Worst. Walk. Ever.
Here is a picture of my dog as a puppy: