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Woman Trouble...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Joystick, 21 November 2006.

  1. Joystick

    Joystick Deep like Titanic

    10 August 2004
    London
    The Arse
    I'm in a bad way and I don't really want to turn to any of my close friends, out of shame more than anything else. To tell it short, I've been seeing this girl for about 8 months now and yesterday I found out she slept with some other dude on the weekend. He's an old friend of her's who's staying with her for a few days after returning from Australia. I knew they'd kissed a few times about 3 years ago, but she told me this straight up and told me I had nothing to worry about. I did trust her, as you have to I guess.

    So then I meet this guy yesterday (who's sound as a pound it turns out) and find out what's happened in basically the worst possible way. He starts bragging about what he got up to on Sunday and how much fun he had with her. She clearly hadn't breathed a word to him about what ever it was I had with her. I confronted her afterwards, she lied to my face, then I told her how I know she's lying and she quickly goes quiet and stops denying everything. I didn't hang around any longer to hear anymore of her BS, just headed straight to work this morning.

    I haven't slept all night. I look like a ghost. I've never been hurt like this before and I really don't know what to do with myself. I spent most of last night dreaming up ways that I could murder her and hide her body where no one would ever find it (not really, but I'm pretty fucked right now.)

    I've never had someone abuse my trust so callously and it's left me completely off guard. I promise this is absolutely genuine and I'm not taking the piss here. I do expect a bit of ribbing but I just need some advice if any of you have been in a similar situation.

    Thanks in advance,

    J
     
  2. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    Things must be desperate if you are posting on here....

    To be serious tho mate this is something that will fuck with your head and its now a case of can you trust this girl?

    I am sure you still have feelings for her but this will play on your mind everytime you see the dirty, dirty bird
     
  3. Stringer Bell

    Stringer Bell Banned

    12 February 2005
    London
    If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
    I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one!
     
  4. LemonJelly

    LemonJelly Bungie's Bitch Staff

    28 August 2002
    UK
    Move on, simple as that.
     
  5. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    Girls are psycho's. Every single one of them.

    Take comfort in knowing you have a better brain than her. Slut.

    It'll be hard to take but she's a cunt for doing that so get it up her. Don't give in when she says sorry and wants forgiveness. Stay strong and get her to fuck.[/harsh]
     
  6. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    I'm really sorry Joystick, most of us have been there and it's an evil situation to be put into. Would you have done this to her? If not, then I think that tells you straight off the bat that you love her more than she loves you. In which case, it's never going to work.

    It depends on how you view things. To me, the number one part of a relationship is trust. You've been 100% trusting, which is a fantastic thing, and I commend you for that because it's a very hard thing to do. Unfortunately, she's taken that for granted. As CW said above, if you can't trust her again (do you think you could?), then you're not going to get very far, and so the best advice I could give you would be, as shit as it is, to (start to) move on. Get your mates round, get your favourite games on 24/7, finish all of the games you never thought you would, and get on with life.

    But... After saying all of that...

    If you think you could trust her again, then by all means ignore what I've just said. I'm in a relationship now where my other half trusted me completely. I was then caught with texts off somebody else, which, I'd like to add, I didn't respond to, but were quite strong. I'd kept them because, I'll be honest with you here, I don't have a very high opinion of myself; I think my partner must be insane to have stayed with me for three years. I look like a bag of crap, and so it was flattering to read something saying otherwise, and the texts stayed on my phone for 24 hours longer than they should have.

    We are very open with eachother usually; we have eachother's passwords for email addresses and we check eachother's phones for texts, because we know eachother and we know each person who would get in touch with us (apart from the odd Evo-Web email she gets confused by). So when I got a text later that day when I was in the bathroom, she just looked at it like she normally would, when she noticed a few others in the inbox that didn't look right. Well, she wasn't best pleased.

    I didn't think she could trust me again, and I don't think she thought that either, but a year on it's as if nothing ever happened. But, for a long, long time, there was something said pretty much 24/7. And every letter that came through the door got the "is this from her?" treatment. For months. And months. It's still "there" now. If I ever leave MSN on (so that I get a popup when I get an email), she gets very, very uncomfortable. But we made it and I don't think this is a relationship that could be broken by anybody but us, now.

    A text that's not responded to is a hell of a lot different from what's happened to you though. And what happened to my girlfriend's trust in me was bad enough! So if I were you I wouldn't jump into thinking that this could all be forgotten.

    Sorry if this has confused you even more!

    My bottom-line advice would be to sleep on things - for a week or so, maybe even a month. Guage how you feel and how much you think you could trust her again. If you think you could make it. If you honestly think that, given half a chance, she (or he) would do this again. And if there's doubt, I really wouldn't commit to being with her again.

    I just hope that, after trusting somebody for so long, you can learn to trust again, because when you find someone who trusts you back and wouldn't cheat on you for the world, you'll be the happiest person alive.

    If you need any more advice or a shoulder to cry on, just make another post or send a PM. You don't deserve what's happened to you, and you shouldn't feel ashamed for reaching out.
     
    Last edited: 21 November 2006
  7. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    Bin the bint!
     
  8. Joystick

    Joystick Deep like Titanic

    10 August 2004
    London
    The Arse
    Hey all, just checked back and already a lot of replies so many thanks to you all, particularly JB. That's a good effort mate, especially for someone you don't know, so thanks.

    I should clarify, there's no question as to what I'm gonna do about her. The girl is as good as dead to me now, I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire. I'm a very proud person (f*ck knows why) and I don't do second chances with things like this, although it has to be said this has never happened to me before and that's why I'm so taken aback. I also don't do relationships (this was my first since I was 18 ) so it's f*cked that it ends like this.

    She was so affectionate, always telling me how amazing I was and how lucky she was etc. How she'd never hurt me because it would really hurt her blah blah blah. I guess that's also why I'm so shocked.

    JB, I dunno if I'd say I loved her, but I certainly liked her a hell of a lot. I REALLY fancied this girl, still do if I'm honest. She's my type to the absolute letter, plus she's very talented between the sheets which is nothing to be sniffed at.

    I dunno really why I posted here, I guess the advice of strangers is helpful as you know they won't spare your blushes. I'm gonna have to tell my mates, of course, plus the girls at work who really don't like her anyway. I can tell, birds are bitchy like that.

    I'm currently thinking revenge, but is that a bit petty? Should I rise above all that? I do have a bunch of naked pics of her :twisted:
     
    Last edited: 21 November 2006
  9. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    Dont bother doing anything mate. Move on with your life

    Tho if you want to send me a copy of the naked pics then feel free :D
     
  10. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    Get those pictures posted!

    That'll learn her.
     
  11. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    That sucks man, I caught my girlfriend kissing another guy last week, haven't talked to her since, gone out with her 2 years, lived with her for a year so i kind of know what your going through, God knows what she's been doing. Sure it gets you down cause you give a lot to try and make the relationship work and you would rather it just be over with than have some bitch cheat on you. Anyways, what come around goes around, my girlfriend has been trying to claw her way back in but I've taken the no nonsense approach and I'm going to move on with my life. However, those naked pics sound like sweet revenge mate, PM me with them if you feel its a way of venting for her screwing another guy behind your back! :-#
     
  12. rockykabir

    rockykabir hello

    30 March 2003
    London -> New York -> San Francisco
    Liverpool FC
    It's difficult - when your rock is just taken away like that, it's next to impossible to be clinical. Initially there is the shock - and it'll take time for things to heal. The best thing you can do is to prove that you can cope without her and live a happy life - show her what she is missing out on.
     
  13. jaygrim

    jaygrim TheAllSeeingEye

    26 July 2005
    Everywhere.
    Man Utd
    I could help with this, PM me for details.
     
  14. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    In a way that doesnt surprise me...
     
  15. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    Its funny seeing CWright giving relationship advice, hahaha he's never had a girl and is still a virgin at 36
     
  16. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies At least, I think I am Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    Cheers for the email, Dermot. I thought you'd stop pretending to be a woman... You never quite got over being born a man, did you?
     
  17. jaygrim

    jaygrim TheAllSeeingEye

    26 July 2005
    Everywhere.
    Man Utd
    Me and Chris have a lot in common.
     
  18. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    What?
     
  19. Stan

    Stan Allez les Lionceaux !!!

    12 September 2002
    When i started to read your post my first reaction ws that the guy was just bragging, that he did knew that you had a relationship with the girl and that he just said it to piss you off...
    If i were you i would try to be sure that she reallyy slept with him. If so, try to talk to her in a unemotional objectif way.
    i know that this is difficult but you should confront her in a mature and calm way. Ask her if she has feelings for the guy...if she has, drop her in a friendly way...tell her you respect her feelings. If she hasn't and she syas she still loves you tell her you still lover her (if you do) and tell her that you are prepared to give her a second chance but that she has to understand that you'll find it difficult for a while to trust her...she has to regain your trust.

    If it's over (and i'm afraid it is, judging by your first post). Move on with your life...she is not the one for you...i know this is difficult to believe but there are plenty of other girls you will fancy....just enjoy your life and your new found freedom, amuse yourself with your friends...be happy and you will be attractive for girls...but the most important thing is: forget her and enjoy your life.

    In a couple of weeks you will see that it isn't the end of the world.

    GOOD LUCK!!!!!
     
  20. kevano22

    kevano22 TDWFYU

    2 August 2003
    I think that if she hadnt even told him about you and him, she cant have been that arsed in the first place.

    I'd go with how your feeling now and just try to forget about her.
     
  21. Joystick

    Joystick Deep like Titanic

    10 August 2004
    London
    The Arse
    Stan: Your second paragraph is the most relevant to me. Wise words, I'm already a lot more clear headed about it. I think more than anything it's a case of coming to terms with the fact that the girl I was so into never really existed. She's proven herself to be a snidey bitch, so that's just that.

    UPDATE: For those of you interested, she came over late last night with her tail between her legs. Within a few minutes she was crimson faced, in floods of tears, spewing apologies like there's no tomorrow. I very politely informed her that I would not be interested in resuming our relationship, and that if she cared so much about me then perhaps she should have reminded herself of that before taking another man's length inside her mouth.

    A proper ego trip, it's not nice to take pleasure in someone else's discomfort, but I think this counts as an exceptional case bearing in mind how low she made me feel yesterday.

    Feel like a million bucks today. It's one thing to bag a fit girl, but telling one to get to fuck when she begs for you back is something else let me tell you! :twisted:

    Nah, enough of that. Time to move on. Thanks all for your advice.

    J
     
    Last edited: 22 November 2006
  22. Dazfeeder

    Dazfeeder Harvester of Sorrow

    24 September 2003
    Manchester United
    Good luck with things mate, you will go through a period of thinking if you have done the right thing but hang in there son, we will all help if ya need it, if been through it too so i know what ya going through mate
     
  23. Pickford

    Pickford Banned

    10 February 2006
    Dude i feel sorry for you, the best thing todo and i promise itll make you feel ten times better is to fuck one of her m8s or even better try get into her mum and put it in her corn hole.
     
  24. Stan

    Stan Allez les Lionceaux !!!

    12 September 2002
    Sometimes i find it a pity that there is no sort of entrance exam to this forum...a sort of (emotional) intelligence test...threads like this should be forbidden for people who are younger than 16 (at least i hope for him he is).
     
  25. Clockender

    Clockender is back...but for how long?

    27 November 2001
    East Lower, Block 13
    Arsenal FC
    :lmao:

    :applause:

    You have done the right thing and I think you know that, you deserve so much better mate. Here's to the future! :cheers:
     
  26. Pickford

    Pickford Banned

    10 February 2006

    intelligence test omfg what would u suggest sitting down with the bitch and discussing wot made her do such a thing? Going to counciling?. The best way to hurt her would be to fuck her m8 or mum and thats a fact toss pot.

    And if u want imature ask ur mum how old i am:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
     
  27. gomito#10

    gomito#10 World Cup Winner

    9 May 2003
    DC, USA
    hbhhaahaha i dont think he hast to ask how old you are!

    Joystick nice work mate, just always be honest and be yourself bro, you will find the right one. She obvioulsy isnt and hopefully she will learn from this as well. But above all be as nice as you possibly can to her when you see her or talk to her, that will drive her fucking insane, act like it didnt really bother you all that much. You will then find out if she is batty or not.
     
  28. twophases

    twophases Hooked on editing

    3 June 2004
    Team F, Other Leagues C
    Me personally, I would have pretended to have forgiven her, rough-fcuk her (I'm talking anal, fisting, that sort) then after the 5th go 'round, when I'm all sexed out, I'd ask her to leave & tell her that I just want to be fcuk friends.
     
  29. Fred_Gavioes

    Fred_Gavioes Brazilian showman

    19 February 2003
    Lowell/Massachusetts/USA
    CORINTHIANS and BRASIL
    just forget about her, dont do anything, move on, ignore her for life, pretend she dont exist anymore.
     
  30. Slobber

    Slobber boycotting PES

    3 August 2003
    Merseyside, England
    Liverpool FC
    I haven't been in that exact situation, but I've been hurt that badly before by a woman. My advice is.

    DUMP THAT FUCKING BITCH AND LET HER ROT.

    Warn that guy about her, so she doesn't fuck his life up as well.
     

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