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Late Night Confessions With Christopher Wright

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by joostebrood, 29 November 2006.

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  1. joostebrood

    joostebrood Premiership

    4 March 2002
    Dermot and I have been talking to our leader CWright frequently. Those chat sessions on MSN, we've always kept them for ourselves, but lately we've realised there's so much useful info on Chris and you can also clearly see the vibe between the 3 of us.

    Now this next conversation between the three of us is very interesting. Here we see CW just observing, like the true leader he is:

    Joost zegt:
    Chris, you never answered me today
    Joost zegt:
    I'm not a racist at all, but I have no black friends
    Joost zegt:
    You're the only black guy I know
    Dermot zegt:
    Chris, once again you choose to ignore us
    Dermot zegt:
    your friends
    Joost zegt:
    My question is relevant
    Dermot zegt:
    you don't realise that we are just trying to lift you out of your deep depression
    Joost zegt:
    We're an unbeatable team, the thre eof us
    Dermot zegt:
    you can't keep the windows closed forever Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    let a little oxygen in here Chris
    Joost zegt:
    Let us in your house Chris
    Joost zegt:
    The temple of Wright
    Dermot zegt:
    We want to sit at your table and eat the bread of Christopher
    Dermot zegt:
    as brothers
    Joost zegt:
    Has anyone ever told you, you look a little like Buddah, but without the overweight?
    Dermot zegt:
    Break bread with me Cjhris
    Dermot zegt:
    let me offer you the palm of friendship
    Dermot zegt:
    I'm going to send a parcel to your house Chris
    Joost zegt:
    You're a blossoming flower Christopher
    Dermot zegt:
    with some goods in it
    Dermot zegt:
    some trinkets
    Joost zegt:
    I want to buy you a gift Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    i think they will bring you good luck in the coming years
    Dermot zegt:
    all the years of bad luck you've had Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    who else would stand at a mirror at 14 and see your hair falling out?
    Dermot zegt:
    you've been dealt a bad hand of cards Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    we are a new set of dealers at the table here
    Joost zegt:
    On one side you saw pubes growing, while on your head the hair was falling off
    Dermot zegt:
    tragic moments in your life, the look of horror on your Moms face when she saw you for the first time, teh beatings you took from your Dad mentally and physically
    Dermot zegt:
    none of this phased you Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    you are a survivor my friend
    Dermot zegt:
    you've proved all Warton wrong
    Joost zegt:
    I wonder why there's no movie about your life yet Chris
    Joost zegt:
    It could be set as an example on schools
    Dermot zegt:
    yes i think you should direct this Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    I would shave my hair and play lead role
    Dermot zegt:
    I'd need to be around you for weeks though
    Dermot zegt:
    just to learn all your little ways and nuances
    Joost zegt:
    I could play Chris Wright Sr
    Dermot zegt:
    the way you bite your bottom lip sometimes when you are scared
    Dermot zegt:
    I love that
    Joost zegt:
    That typical Chris like behaviour
    Joost zegt:
    I'd love to study you for a few years
    Dermot zegt:
    good old Chris
    Dermot zegt:
    the one that brings joy to the family
    Dermot zegt:
    even though there's only 3 of you
    Dermot zegt:
    rthe only son
    Joost zegt:
    The Chris that will cheer when Liverpool scores again
    Dermot zegt:
    The Chris that knows Mom and Pop will be proud of him someday
    Dermot zegt:
    now you are beginning to take the risks in life Chris
    Joost zegt:
    You could also start your own fitness program Chris, like Billie Blanks. You could be a Tae Bo instructor
    Joost zegt:
    I can see you doing those situps
    Joost zegt:
    You can see Dermot and I haven't been sitting still
    Joost zegt:
    We've thought about you a lot
    Dermot zegt:
    constant thoughts
    Joost zegt:
    I just feel it's a little one sided here
    Joost zegt:
    As if it's only us doing all the effort
    Dermot zegt:
    yeah why do i get the feeling i'm not getting the same attention back?
    Joost zegt:
    Why does it always have to be us?
    Dermot zegt:
    i scratch your back you scratch mine Chris
    Joost zegt:
    Are you that egocentric?
    Dermot zegt:
    I need you man
    Joost zegt:
    I can cleraly see you're on only child
    Joost zegt:
    You are used to getting all the attention
    Joost zegt:
    I think it would be good for you to live in a large family for a few years
    Joost zegt:
    Maybe you can go au pair to the USA
    Joost zegt:
    And live in a large family there
    Joost zegt:
    Dermot can come visit you

    Pretty interesting in general. We'll keep this updated and of course you're free to add a few chats with the man yourself.
     
  2. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    Again it's the silence of CWright that amazes here, take the following here for example, i'm doing all the talking whereas Chris Wright will just sit there like a sponge and soak it all in for ages and ages, THEN give his judgement. A man who truly respects and listens even though he was forced out of his job at his newsagents:

    Dermot says:
    I'd love to go birdwatching with you Chris
    Dermot says:
    out in the devonshire wilderness
    Dermot says:
    both of us in tweed jackets with binoculars
    Dermot says:
    and those hats that cover your ears as well as your head, also tweed
    Dermot says:
    laying low in some bushes
    Dermot says:
    with those things for calling ducks in our mouths, the things that make the low sound
    Dermot says:
    creeping around on our bellies, moving 3 inches every half an hour, making sure not to break a twig, all just to catch a glimpse of a rare hummingbird at work
    Dermot says:
    wouldn't you like that Chris?
    Dermot says:
    I know you're sitting there thinking "yes", but you've isolated yourself from outdoor activity, you are afraid to branch out and make friends, do new things
    Dermot says:
    but don't worry Chris, I will always be here for you for when you do get the courage to face the world again
    Dermot says:
    You will always be a hero to me Chris Wright
    Dermot says:
    I have a poster of you on my bedroom wall, that one of just you in front of the PC
    Dermot says:
    I blew it up and now each night I say a prayer in front of it with candles lit
    Dermot says:
    I've also passed your pic around to my family, telling them all who you are
    Dermot says:
    "This is Chris, he runs a website called Evo-Web and supports Liverpool, he doesn't drink alcohol and likes playing golf sometimes, he used to work in a shop in Warton, he lives in Freckleton but now he has a new job"
    Dermot says:
    He is 36
    Dermot says:
    It's great that me and you are going to be friends like this until we die Chris
    Dermot says:
    I think I'll show up at your funeral and make a speech
    Dermot says:
    "Chris was a great man, he was a doer not a thinker"
    Dermot says:
    What else could I say?
    Dermot says:
    I'd definately be crying, all the fond memories
     
  3. rockykabir

    rockykabir hello

    30 March 2003
    London -> New York -> San Francisco
    Liverpool FC
    Good to see u back Jooste :)
     
  4. Dominic

    Dominic Serie A Staff

    19 August 2003
    Netherlands
    Joost*
     
  5. RuneEdge

    RuneEdge Silent Assassin

    1 October 2003
    Turn around, I'm right behind you...
    Manchester United
    When's the part where you rape him?
     
  6. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    Joost
     
  7. jaygrim

    jaygrim TheAllSeeingEye

    26 July 2005
    Everywhere.
    Man Utd
    Joost?
     
  8. Dominic

    Dominic Serie A Staff

    19 August 2003
    Netherlands
    Joost
     
  9. Chris Davies

    Chris Davies Chief PESsimist Staff

    14 May 2003
    Tranmere Rovers
    Just?
     
  10. rockykabir

    rockykabir hello

    30 March 2003
    London -> New York -> San Francisco
    Liverpool FC
    Who's Joost?
     
  11. bruuuuuuuuuuuuuud
     
  12. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    It's when the real Chris starts opening up that it's at its most fun, the true Chris, passionate and athletic, full of humour and laughter. Always accomodating his children, the children of Evo.




    Dermot says:
    I'd love to be in WWF as tag team partner with you Chris
    Dermot says:
    I'd say we would make an incredible duo
    CW says:
    I dont think either of us has the build

    Dermot says:
    That doesn't matter, we'd have the moves and the agility, it would be a new thing for wrestling
    Dermot says:
    Imagine you dressed in a yellow spandex one piece going after the Rock putting him in a triple sufflex
    Dermot says:
    then coming over to me and tagging me while i go in and reverse 360 knee-rocket Chris Jericho in the julies
    CW says:
    sounds like a plan

    Dermot says:
    we'd have it down Chris, all we need is a good name, I can see Triple X on the ground right now screaming in agony while you tower above him on the ropes ready to cherry bomb him before the final count
    Dermot says:
    Don't tell me your not athletic
    Dermot says:
    You don't drink and you don't smoke
    CW says:
    I would do all the legwork then

    CW says:
    u would do the pinning after a crackin finishing move

    Dermot says:
    that automatically means you can do anything sportswise if you put your mind to it, you already have a natural fitness most people don't have because they choose to damage their bodies
    CW says:
    i do eat a lot of chocolate tho

    Dermot says:
    that's irrelevant, that all gets burned off anyways cause you play sports every week
    CW says:
    thats a good point

    Dermot says:
    Do you lift weights?
    CW says:
    I don't

    Dermot says:
    That's something you should start thinking about
     
  13. joostebrood

    joostebrood Premiership

    4 March 2002
    Here we see CW the businessman in action. One tough cookie to crumble I tell you, my fellow friends:

    Joost zegt:
    That thread is going well Chris, I'd like to thank you for your input
    Joost zegt:
    Our friendship is something that should be shared with the souls of Evo-Web
    CW zegt:
    u think so?
    Joost zegt:
    Yes, they can learn from us
    Joost zegt:
    Remember we've been here for a while
    Joost zegt:
    We know what goes on
    Joost zegt:
    In the world of PES
    CW zegt:
    thats right, we do
    Joost zegt:
    Do you use Youtube a lot?
    CW zegt:
    nah
    Joost zegt:
    Why not?
    CW zegt:
    watching other people make arses of themselves, ts kinda pointless
    Joost zegt:
    But don't you ever wish it was you coming up with a brilliant idea like Youtube?
    CW zegt:
    of course, them lads made a mint when they sold it
    Joost zegt:
    Are you planning the same thing with Evo-Web? How much is Evo-Web worth now?
    CW zegt:
    u are asking the wrong man, i aint in control
    Joost zegt:
    Does Evo-Web have a stock market quotation?
    CW zegt:
    not as far as i am aware
    Joost zegt:
    I think we should talk about it sometime, you, Mart, Kezz, Dermot and me
    CW zegt:
    maybe we will
    Joost zegt:
    We'll see, time can be a bastard, we must act fast
    Joost zegt:
    Just one more question: Do you love me?
    CW zegt:
    of course
    Joost zegt:
    Thanks, I love you too
     
  14. RuneEdge

    RuneEdge Silent Assassin

    1 October 2003
    Turn around, I'm right behind you...
    Manchester United
    Now its getting fun.
     
  15. PLF

    PLF Legend

    2 August 2004
    I don't normally waste time reading this sorta rubbish but....

    This is a brilliant question!! :mrgreen: :lmao:

    Nearly fell off my chair laughing. :lol:
     
  16. bebo

    bebo Looking for a Manager

    25 July 2005
    Arsenal Thread
    The Arsenal FC
    funny funny :applause:

    more please!
     
  17. Dermot

    Dermot Banned

    13 August 2002
    New York
    Arsenal
    Christ what happened to this thread? Mr Wright we gotta schedule a midnight chat during the week, you have grown much older and wiser. You are almost as wise as Nostradamus was back in his time but just without the predictions.
     
  18. Placebo

    Placebo Ԁlɐɔǝqo

    3 May 2003
    Esmoriz, Portugal
    Sheffield Wednesday
    Digging up two year old threads by pathetic wastrel minges*, is that really the best you have to offer this forum?


    *I'm not allowed to use the "c" word apparently for some reason
     
  19. Yana

    Yana R.I.P Fazzaday :(

    2 March 2008
    Sheffield
    Chelsea
    This has made my day. I was in a shit mood and this has enlightened me, I had tears in my eyes. :lol:
     
  20. Coopz

    Coopz Retired Footballer

    27 April 2002
    Chill out mate

    We need more humour here this place is far to serious lately, its only a gaming forum after all
     
  21. Placebo

    Placebo Ԁlɐɔǝqo

    3 May 2003
    Esmoriz, Portugal
    Sheffield Wednesday
    Sorry I just don't find much amusement in a person whose apparent sole reason and purpose on these forums is to wind up and mock another person solely to try to get a rise out of him.........
     
  22. Coopz

    Coopz Retired Footballer

    27 April 2002
    Im sure CW can take it on the chin and laugh

    if not he would have said something
     
  23. Placebo

    Placebo Ԁlɐɔǝqo

    3 May 2003
    Esmoriz, Portugal
    Sheffield Wednesday
    Would he? Seems to me that the sort of people who get a rise out of doing this stuff to CW would be the sort to do it all the more if they managed to get CW to react........
     
  24. Tim7

    Tim7 Retired Footballer

    6 May 2003
    Gravesend
    Charlton Athletic FC
    I agree with Placebo, this is all very very odd.
     
  25. Milanista

    Milanista Mangiamoli! Staff

    19 December 2002
    London & Milan
    AC Milan
    Well, it is the off topic forum.
     
  26. Placebo

    Placebo Ԁlɐɔǝqo

    3 May 2003
    Esmoriz, Portugal
    Sheffield Wednesday
    So as it's the OT forum it's ok to amuse yourself by teasing and belittling other forum members? Good to know.

    Tim you're a nob.
     
  27. Tim7

    Tim7 Retired Footballer

    6 May 2003
    Gravesend
    Charlton Athletic FC
    Fair comment ;)).

    Seriously though, Placebo is right, just because it's off topic, it's not anything goes.
     
  28. Oli

    Oli Gooner

    1 September 2002
    London
    Arsenal
    Time of the month?
     
  29. Placebo

    Placebo Ԁlɐɔǝqo

    3 May 2003
    Esmoriz, Portugal
    Sheffield Wednesday
    Moron of the week?
     
  30. DagsJT

    DagsJT Retired Footballer

    29 November 2005
    Warrington
    Liverpool
    :lmao:

    Really funny posts :DD
     
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