1. We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. Learn More.

Jimmy Carr Live at the Carling Academy, Glasgow - OFFENSIVE HUMOUR INSIDE

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by foxtrot, 28 March 2005.

  1. foxtrot

    foxtrot Shoe bomber

    24 December 2002
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Rangers FC
    [​IMG]

    If you're easily offended, Jimmy Carr's show is probably not for you. For everyone else, you should see him live! I seen him on Saturday night here in Glasgow and it was bloody hilarious.

    The warm-up act is a screen with words on it and tells a few jokes and gives a few warnings...

    "Don't watch this show if you're easily offended























































    or gay."

    "If you're epileptic then this show isn't for you...




















































    ...there isn't any strobe lighting or anything, you'll just get the piss taken out you."

    Then Jimmy comes on stage for 90mins and makes you sides split. Joke included...

    "Swimming is good for you...


    especially if you're drowning."



    "Jim Davidson. A racist and a wife beater.


    He should marry a black woman... combine his interests."


    "I was doing a charity gig for 'Children with Learning Difficulties'... only I never refferred to them as 'Children with Learning Difficulties.' I refferred to them as 'Window Lickers'... on stage. The manager literally threw me backstage and held me up against the wall and said 'Window Lickers!? Where the hell did you get that from!?' And as he walked away, he set me up perfectly by saying, 'When will you learn!'

    So I said 'A damn sight before those fucking Window Lickers!'"



    "I done a gig for a charity called 'Laughing for Leukemia.' Only I had misread the name and on stage referred to it as 'Laughing at Leukemia'

    The skinheads down the front weren't impressed."


    JC: Does anyone here go to mass?
    Audience: Yeeeeeeeeees!
    JC: Anyone here go to where Protestants worship?
    ...
    Hell I presume.

    Aaaargh! It's the most sectarian town in the world! You guys must look at Belfast and think 'Yeah? And? You want trouble, I'll show you trouble'

    -------------------------

    A great night out.
     
  2. smango

    smango Guest

    Hale and Pace are a million time funny than this twat.
     
  3. CW

    CW C Dub Founding Member

    6 October 2001
    Liverpool
    If you had made that a proper sentence you would still be wrong.

    Jimmy Carr is currently one of the best guys `doing` comedy. I got his DVD for Christmas and thought it was one of the best stand up routines I have seen
     
  4. Metallica

    Metallica Whoosh... Bullshit!

    20 August 2003
    Pissed up in Sam Platt's
    I think it goes without saying .........................
     
  5. FlawlessCowboy

    FlawlessCowboy Stunted

    5 July 2004
    Coventry, UK
    I love Jimmy Carr. Did anyone watch that game show he hosted on Channel 4 a while back? Distraction I think it was called.

    It was bloody hillarious, especially the one with the Big Bro housemates on it!
     
  6. Clockender

    Clockender is back...but for how long?

    27 November 2001
    East Lower, Block 13
    Arsenal FC
    He was good on "your face or mine?" Very dry sense of humour
     
  7. Azbo

    Azbo Guest



    :shock:

    Do you like Little & Large, Cannon & Ball, Jimmy Cricket?

    :lmao:
     

Share This Page

Welcome to Evo-Web! As a guest you can browse some of our forums. If you want to join in the discussions and get full access please sign up here.